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Preparing for the single life post-divorce

Deciding to end a marriage can be a fairly straightforward or a painfully complex decision-making process. Unfortunately, the decisions one needs to make after a divorce is finalized are often no less complex and challenging than the decision to divorce often is. As a result, it is critical that individuals navigating the divorce process begin to prepare themselves for their lives post-divorce. Figuring out how to be healthy and happy alone will enable newly single individuals to meet new and complex decisions head-on, optimistically and in informed ways.

You need not embrace cheesy catchphrases and mantras in order to align yourself with the concepts of peace, well-being, self love and happiness in the wake of divorce. If these touchpoints help you, wonderful! If not, understand that it is the intention of moving forward in a healthy way with the goals of happiness, stability and optimism that really matter.

You may not currently be in a place where those words seem appealing or even possible. But if you keep a few key tips in mind, the landscape of your future life and outlook will likely slowly start to change for the better and brighter.

First, understand that negative emotions are healthy and normal. However, worrying about being alone and worrying about the future in general are rarely productive pastimes. Instead of worrying considerably, start acting to mend whatever feels broken. Take excellent care of yourself, get outside, go to the gym, indulge in hobbies and relaxation. By focusing on healing your broken places, you are taking control back over the things that cause you worry and stress.

Second, surround yourself with support. Support can come in many forms, so keep an open mind about what support actually looks like. In addition to family and friends, consider counseling, online communities, gym membership, community classes and other outlets designed to be both social and supportive of you and your goals.

Finally, understand that your attitude is key. You should absolutely grieve when necessary, but keeping your mind focused on a bright future will help you to make that dream a reality.

Source: Huffington Post, "Being Alone After Divorce: Why It's Okay and Tips on How to Enjoy It," Jackie Pilossoph, July 9, 2013

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Goddard & Malmquist

Goddard & Malmquist
1250 South Grove Avenue
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Barrington, IL 60010

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